Sex Positions & Techniques
Anal Play and Anal Intercourse - Not For Everyone?
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Anal Sex Positions
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Anal sex isn't for everyone, but it can be interesting to try if you don't have many inhibitions and you're happy to experiment.
Our models are all attractive men and women in real life relationships, showing anal sex at its best and most enjoyable.
You might be wondering what the appeal is. Sometimes anal sex is attractive because it's forbidden or has an air of naughtiness - the anus is a taboo area for many of us!
Other people think than anal sex is great because it offers tightness, a different set of sensations than vaginal sex, and the promise of highly enjoyable physical sensations.
Women can enjoy being taken up the anus, though it's important that all experiments are consensual, that your partner agrees to whatever you want to do, and you're both happy to draw a boundary when things get to the point where you want to stop.
Why anal, though?
Many women like a bit of anal stimulation during oral sex or masturbation.
And so do men, for that matter! If you're a man, you can see how it adds to sexual pleasure if you stimulate your own anus with a well-lubed finger when you masturbate.
As a man, try giving cunnilingus to a woman while you place a finger in her vagina and at the same time rub the tip of your little finger on her anus. If she likes this, she'll let you know by her cries of delight as she comes!
Basically, the anus and the surrounding area have lots of nerves that link to the clitoris, pelvis and vulva, so the whole area is extremely sensitive to sexual stimulation. sexually responsive.
And it can feel good if you're penetrated anally - for women, this is an extension of vaginal penetration; for men, there is the excitement that can be obtained when the prostate gland is stimulated through the wall of the rectum.
For men who find that a tight fit produces greater pleasure during sex, the appeal of their partner's anus is obvious.
In addition, there might be some reward in the sense of dominance over one's partner, the taboo aspects of anal sex, and the sheer raunchiness of it. But in short - if it excites you, try it out and see if you enjoy it!
If you're worried about shit - and, yes, it can happen that the rectum beyond the anal canal may have some small residue of shit in there when you enter - then you can do something about it.
First, use a good strong condom. That's pretty much essential anyway unless you absolutely know your partner has no diseases, and it's probably a good idea anyway to stop you getting a urinary tract infection (bacteria from shit don't mix well with your urethra and kidneys).
Second, get your partner to douche before sex. Small douche bags are available from all online sex stores. Third, have a shower together before sex, and wash each other's anuses. That way you get an element of erotic play and relax a bit even before you start.
OK! I'd like to try it...but how do you do it? What positions can we use for anal sex?
The best positions are only adaptations of ordinary vaginal sex positions. You simply find one where the man can get easy access to his partner's anus.
So - man on top with her legs back, woman on top, and from behind while lying side by side are all good, though obviously rear entry is best of all - at least, it's the easiest.
It's also the most exciting for men, with the sight of her buttocks being a powerful sexual stimulus. This time, rear entry really does mean backdoor action!
Use enough lube on her anus, the condom and your penis: this is absolutely essential.
There's no natural lube there, unlike in your partner's aroused vagina, so you need plenty of slippery stuff to make penetration easy and pleasant for you both.
Use Astroglide, Probe, KY liquid or some similar water based lube.
You can't use enough, really, and if it dries out as you penetrate and thrust, just use some water to wet it again.
Oils are a no-no if you're using a latex condom - but you've heard that a thousand times already, I'm sure. (They rot it - very quickly.)
Start with a finger
A nice way to start is to play with a fingertip on or around your partner's anus.
You can rub gently, press into the rosebud opening, tickle gently with your fingertip, and with enough lube gently start the act of penetration to get her relaxed and opened up a bit.
Such play is good for both sexes, so hopefully you'll let her do the same thing to you.
This will increase her confidence and may make the whole thing more fun - it becomes a game of equality rather than something you're just doing to her.
That knowledge may give her greater pleasure when you enter her with your penis.
The other thing to bear in mind is that many people find some sexual acts acceptable only when they're highly aroused, so if you both get turned on and start getting carried away with the idea of anal sex, don't forget all the rules about safe sex and using a condom!
To sum up: start the act of anal play with a gentle fingertip, tickling and pressing until your partner begins to open up a little. You might even consider using your tongue on her anus, though this is definitely something that either appeals or doesn't.
Provided you're both well and healthy, it should be ok health wise, but there may be a slight risk of hepatitis or other nasty infections - so take your choice and risk as you will.
You may find it's appealing to use your tongue, you may not - but without prejudging the issue, what's certainly true is that it can be highly erotic and exciting for some people to have a warm wet tongue probing this most intimate area of their body.
Problemswith anal sex
Unless you're playing out some masochistic game, pain is not part of the agenda. And anal sex can be painful without enough lube for the person on the receiving end!
Never in any sex act is more consideration required for your partner than in anal sex.
If she is in discomfort at any time, use more lube or stop - and that's especially true if she's so nervous that she just can't open up enough for you to get in. Time and patience and a gentle finger - or two - may be the answer or they may not.
But if you can't penetrate easily, don't force the issue - either psychologically or physically!
Sometimes during anal intercourse the receiving partner may have a reflex response which feels like they need to shit.
If so, you may find that stopping for a moment or two makes the urge go away - or, if it does develop into a full blown need to shit, then that's probably the end of your anal play for the time being!
Since the lining of the rectum is much more delicate than that of the vagina, and tears much more easily, you may want to ensure you trim all your fingernails before you go poking around inside your partner, and you may want to ensure all vibrators and dildos are soft and flexible before you put them into your partner - or even yourself!
There are two rings of muscle around the anal canal, one at the outside, and one on the inside.
The first one will open easily, but the second may clamp shut if your partner is frightened or apprehensive or you go too fast.
That's its job - to prevent things getting into the body, including, sadly for you, your penis.
The way to overcome this is to press forward slowly with plenty of lube (don't forget, you've already gone in with a finger or two, so it knows what's coming - and so does your partner!).
At some point, if your partner is basically accepting of the idea of being penetrated anally, the inner muscles will relax and allow your penis to enter her body.
If they don't, make sure you're not causing her any pain, and stop if she wants you to do so.
By the way, the best way to get in is to watch what you're doing - it's not like the vagina, where you may be able to penetrate without looking. Her anus doesn't have labia to guide your penis in, and the opening is not as big as that of the vulva's channel into the vagina.
You need to look! And you need to apply a steady pressure as you seek to get your penis into her. Gentle but firm is the watchword here.
You can push forward, then pull backwards a bit, then next time go a bit further forward.
Obviously such a movement will be easier in some positions than others - like the rear entry with her kneeling on the bed and you standing behind her, for example.
Once she is experienced and confident, and can relax to allow you in at will, then you might want to shift position to woman on top.
How hard can I thrust?
Well, as hard as your partner lets you! Move slowly and lovingly, thrusting gently until she is used to and accepting of the rhythm of your penile thrusting.
You may find it enough to move slowly and gently with restricted thrusts, or you may want to go at it full pelt - in either case, make sure your partner is both willing and able to accept your thrusts - it's a special and delicate part of her body, and she deserves your care and respect (not to mention your thanks) for giving you the opportunity to enjoy such a tight fit of her body around your penis.
We know it feels good to have a tight penetration - we're men. Remember it may not feel as good for her as it does for you!
If you can relax and enjoy the thrusting, fine. But if it hurts and you want your partner to withdraw, tell him to stop! There's no reason why you should have to accept this form of sex if you don't like it.
Anal intercourse sex positions
As far as positions are concerned, try the rear entry first: you might also like woman on top, where you slip his penis into your anus - though you may need to be relaxed and fairly experienced to get it in in this position.
Getting the angle right is probably slightly more tricky than in vaginal sex, because the anal canal is tighter and the rectum bends just inside the body.
If you're both relaxed and in the mood for a little experimentation, then you can shift around between bouts of thrusting until you find the position that is most comfortable for sex.
The pictures may help you. As you can see, the positions are not that different to normal vaginal sex: they just need slight modification, such as her legs being farther apart.
You may find a bit of blood - small rips and cuts are common consequences of anal intercourse.
Stop until they heal, and next time use more lube, and relax more as you play with the positions.
If the condom breaks, get a new one, put it on, and start again.
If you're going on to orgasm, and ejaculate inside your partner, make sure the condom is intact before you come.
Anal intercourse - reverse cowgirl position
It's just possible that you might want to shift position entirely and have a session of anal sex where the woman penetrates the man. There are several reasons why this can be good for the uninhibited couple.
First - she gets to experience the ultimate role reversal - penetration of her partner, though admittedly only with her finger or a strap-on dildo.
But she can get some sense of what it's like to be the dominant partner who penetrates during sex.
Second, he gets his prostate massaged by her finger or the dildo, and if she simultaneously masturbates him, he may find that he comes in a tremendous orgasm.
Certainly, massaging his prostate (easiest in the rear entry position where the man kneels with his ass in the air, opening his cheeks so she can penetrate him form behind) will increase the volume of semen he produces, make his ejaculation shoot further, and give him greater orgasmic pleasure.
If she has a strap on dildo up his anus at the time he comes, it's certainly going to be a new experience for him!
Anal sex: Postillioning
(Where the finger and anus meet...)
A pleasurable technique possible during anal sex is the stimulation of the perineum - the space between the vulva and the anus in women, and the scrotum and anus in men - and the introduction of a finger into the anus.
While to many people anal play seems unpleasant, the quality of orgasm produced by genital and anal stimulation combined is immensely more piercing, stronger, and delightful than orgasm produced by genital stimulation alone.
This is partly psychological and partly physical, since it carries the motions and excitations of the sexual act deep into the pelvic musculature where men, at least, seldom otherwise experience it.
The sexual position for anal sex is similar to the position for vaginal sex.
When even once properly experienced - that is, properly executed and properly submitted to, without panicky emotional resistance - it will usually be returned to again and again, and is very likely to become an integral part of the erotic technique and ritual of a couple.
However, clumsily done, or without proper lubrication, or in the wrong sexual position, and without the proper relaxation of the anal sphincter by the submitting partner, it can be most unpleasant.
A few unfortunate experiences of this kind, combined with outraged moral and esthetic objections, can so affect some women or men as to inhibit orgasm in them, and even pleasure of any degree, when anal play is even so much as attempted.
But when well lubricated, anal play will produce no real pain if a finger is introduced slowly and carefully, even if the subject does not understand how to relax the sphincter.
When the subject has already had some experience with anal play, the relaxation of the sphincter is easy to perform, and the penetrating finger is then drawn into the anus when the muscle relaxes and draws upward.
It hardly needs to be mentioned that "postillioning", as anal finger play is colloquially called, is not practical when the subject suffers from piles (hemorrhoids), as it is likely to prove painful and to cause bleeding.
However, the best lube for anal play is some kind of artificial lube such as Astroglide or Probe. High quality grapeseed oil may also be used.
The amount that can be taken up at one time must be made to serve. It's risky to have any cross-motion from vagina to anus, because of the possibility of infection.
The anus should be found by slowly running and pressing the fingertip along the groove which leads up to it. So choose a position for sex in which the recipient can lie back comfortably with his or her anal groove exposed.
Once the finger is inside the anus, it can be moved back-and-forth, care being taken always to keep the tip past the sphincter, or the finger is likely to pop out and will have to be re-inserted, again with the possibility of pain.
Or the finger can be held still, within the grasp of the sphincter (sometimes surprisingly strong), and the whole hand shaken vigorously, agitating the whole anal, lower rectal, and perineal region. At the point of orgasm, frankly in-and-out coital movements of the finger, or even two fingers together, will usually be found most gratifying to the subject.
Postillioning can best be done by the middle finger, but in cunnilingual positions it is usually necessary to use the forefinger, or - after the woman has become accustomed to anal penetration or anal coitus - the thumb, with the same disadvantages.
Regardless of the sex position chosen, anal play can be very painful if the fingernails are too long on either the fingers used or those adjacent, which grip hard at the perineum or genital area. The fingernails should therefore be clipped.
The finger should be removed carefully after anal penetration, regardless of the sex position used.
At orgasm - when this is profound - powerful and rhythmic contractions of the sphincter occur in both sexes, and are felt by the intruded finger in postillioning, usually at intervals of about one second, slowing and disappearing after orgasm.
Some maintain the vaginal contractions or spasms can be created just as well by bringing the woman to orgasm strictly by clitoral titillation, without in any way entering or touching her vagina, and the specifically "vaginal" orgasm is a myth.
To avoid any pain to the subject, or undesired noise, it is best to remove the postillioning finger in the pause between contractions of the sphincter.
Keep the same sexual position, then, to withdraw the finger, even when lubricated with oil or jelly, it should be bent downward toward the rectal floor, while the hand itself is turned upward and is drawn away simultaneously, thus levering the finger out, as one might say, on the fulcrum of the anal orifice's anterior edge.
If, meanwhile, the subject will press down slightly with the sphincter, in exactly the way such pressure is exerted during defecation, the finger will be forced as well as pulled out, and there will be no pain whatsoever.
The relaxation or pressing down with the sphincter to allow entry of the finger (or of the penis, in anal sex) is also very similar to the pushing a bowel movement out, but is more diffused and not so powerful.
After anal play it will usually be necessary to wash - or at least wipe - the finger used, as it may have an unpleasant odor, and, if lubrication has been used, it will be oily or moist. Also, there may be fecal particles around or under the fingernail: this is only to be expected unless you wash out the rectum beforehand.
It commonly occurs that the subject to anal finger play - postillioning - is likely to feel the desire to defecate immediately after being postillioned, or to imagine that this desire is present.
This is usually due to the sympathetic excitation of the nerve centers controlling defecation when the anal sphincter is titillated, and the person may find, upon going to the bathroom, that there is really no necessity at all.
However, in some people, anal fingering or sex causes an acute looseness of the bowels. Both of these sympathetic nervous manifestations will probably disappear upon continued acquaintance with such excitation.
And sure, it is possible that occasionally a piece of fecal matter may be felt by the finger in the rectum, but this, while not particularly esthetic or pleasant, is a matter of very little real importance.
It should certainly not be mentioned - or displayed! - at the time, as the subject is probably just as aware of it as the person who is postillioning, and is also probably twice as horrified and embarrassed.
However, if you try this sexual position, beware of the transmission of hepatitis. And and as well.
Such soiling of finger or penis in anal intercourse can be avoided by douching or using an enema beforehand. Whether you share that experience or keep it private depends on your personal sexual position on matters of personal hygiene and sexual arousal!
When anal finger play accompanies cunnilingus and not sexual intercourse, it may take the place of vaginal finger play concomitant with cunnilingus, or it may accompany it, the thumb being introduced into the vagina, and the forefinger or middle finger into the anus.
The whole hand is then shaken or turned backward-and-forward rapidly, a quarter-circle, without moving or slipping the fingers within the tissues, thus shaking the whole vaginal, anal, and perineal area strongly.
If you move on to anal intercourse, do remember that the tightness of the anus may make it hard to delay ejaculation (it's a very stimulating position!)
Or, of course, the thumb and finger (or fingers) can be driven rapidly in-and-out in semi-intercourse-like motions: this is, however, best only when the subject's orgasm is close.
The combined finger play of the vagina and anus in this way, whether or not accompanying cunnilingus, is graphically termed "the Bowling-Hold" in American slang, from the similar position of the thumb and middle finger in holding a common bowling-ball.
We've avoided names for sex positions on this site, but this one seems particularly evocative!
This type of excitation combined with cunnilingus is productive of so tense and high-pitched an emotional state, and such extremely enjoyable sensations at orgasm, as to cause women to thrash about wildly, and scream (into a pillow or against the palm of the hand, if one lives too close to one's neighbors), or even to faint, especially the first time it is experienced.
Anal sex: Analingus
(Where the tongue and anus meet...)
Analingus is associated with both cunnilingus and anal intercourse. If the woman's body is clean - really clean - no tenable hygienic or olfactory objections to analingus can be advanced, and those that are made can stem only from psychological considerations, or prejudice and training. It is therefore a matter of personal choice.
The same sex positions used for cunnilingus give access to the anus, and part of the fun of trying this sexual pleasure may well be the maneuvering into the correct sex position for easy access.
Obviously there has been some contamination of its use as an oral caress by the well-known folk phrase or insult in many languages, in which ultimate contempt is expressed by inviting another person to kiss one's arse (ass).
When intended seriously, as an erotic invitation, this is quite another matter, for is usually extremely pleasurable to the subject, once the feeling of shock is discarded! It is therefore going to be practiced by sensitive and loving people who wish to give each other the utmost possible pleasure, and who wish to express their affectionate acceptance of that pleasure.
Meticulous cleanliness is, of course, a prime consideration; and it hardly needs to be mentioned that the breaking of wind during either oral sex or analingus is probably best avoided!
Puzzled as to how to do this? Well, think of the possibility of cunnilingus and analingus combined, which is most easily performed in the sex position "Playing the Harmonica": with the man's mouth sweeping rapidly back-and-forth along the pudendal and perineal groove of the woman lying on her side with her knees pulled up tight to her chest.